Ref: Child Development Institute
When you feel good about your child, mention it to him or her. Parents are often quick to express negative feelings to children but somehow don't get around to describing positive feelings. A child doesn't know when you are feeling good about him or her and he or she needs to hear you tell him or her that you like having him or her in the family. Children remember positive statements we say to them. They store them up and "replay" these statements to themselves. Practice giving your child words of encouragement throughout each day.
Teach your child about decision-making and to recognize when he/she has made a good decision. Children make decisions all the time but often are not aware that they are doing so. There are a number of ways parents can help children improve their ability to consciously make wise decisions.
■Help the child clarify the problem that is creating the need for a decision. Ask him questions that pinpoint how he sees, hears, and feels about a situation and what may need to be changed.
■Brainstorm the possible solutions. Usually there is more than one solution or choice to a given dilemma, and the parent can make an important contribution by pointing out this fact and by suggesting alternatives if the child has none.
■Allow the child to choose one of the solutions only after fully considering the consequences. The best solution will be one that solves the problem and simultaneously makes the child feel good about himself or herself.
■Later join the child in evaluating the results of that particular solution. Did it work out well? Or did it fail? if so, why? Reviewing the tactics will equip the child to make a better decision the next time around.
當你覺得孩子的表現很好，讓他知道。 父母通常太快表達負面的感受，但卻很少提及正向的感覺。 孩子不會知道你對他的表現滿意，且他需要聽到你告訴他，你喜歡他在家的存在感。孩子會常記得我們對他說的正向的話，他們會把它存在腦海裡，並常在他們腦海裡重複播放。 所以，練習每天給孩子一些鼓勵的話吧。
■之後，參與孩子評估特定的解決辦法的結果，是否解決了問題呢？ 或是失敗了呢？ 如果如此，原因又是甚麼呢？ 花點時間和孩子重新探討賦予孩子下次做更好的決定的策略。